The Chicken Story
by 3-chookens
Summary: unlike the title this story is about love and lust coughcough plz guys we, yes thats right WE really need u to R&R so that we can get a higher self esteem, and also so we no that we r loved! oh, and we wont put up another chapt till we get 10 reviews!EB


Disclaimer: we do not own twilight, but don't worry coz if we it wouldn't be like this… not all the time anywayz :p but we do have 2 say we love the original twilight and the characters… this is just what we created once upon a time in a very boring English lesson.

Edward leaned in to kiss me, but I pulled away… he looked at me with a confused look because he didn't know… that I was a chicken! Quickly, I sprang up and pecked his cold feet. He jumped in shock but not fast enough! Within seconds my widgety-grub minions had a hold of him and were pinning him to the ground. I looked down at his pained and utterly baffled face.

"Edward, my love", I said, "seeing as you can't bear the thought of changing me into a vampire, I shall turn you into a vampierre!" I grinned.

"What?!" he yelled, struggling to break free.

"A vampierre", I replied, "it's a new species of chicken-vampires! I simply have to peck out your eyes and the transformation will be complete!"

And with that I jumped onto his shoulders and pecked his eyes!

"Bawk-awk!" screeched Edward as he strutted around the room. Slowly his body morphed into that of the most attractive rooster alive!

It was then that Rosalie decided to walk through the door. Without a moment's hesitation, Edward and I pounced and pecked her eyes until one was pecked so much that it burst! Then she dropped to the ground, her body transforming into… a ROOSTER?!

"Oh, oh!" Edward said, "They're coming!"

"Who are?" asked rose, "oh my god, why do I sound like a gu… I'm a rooster!" she shrieked, walking over and flapping her wings in my face.

"Geese Bella! You can't get anything right can you!"

"It's not my fault you eye went POP like a big fat puss ball!" I yelled.

Randomly, Rosalie dropped to the ground, spasm-ing and sparking, saying, "doh… doh… doh… doh see doh… doh… doh…"

Suddenly the ground flooded with water and a fish jumped up and grew wings…

"Don't drink water! Fish have sex in it!" he yelled, giggling, but then smacked into a window and 'poof' he was gone!

Meanwhile, Rosalie had picked herself off the floor and called Emmet, so shortly after the fish 'incident' he came bursting through the door!

"Where's my Rose-I-kins?!" he said… more like yelled. "Ahh! You're a rooster!"

Suddenly the room fell quiet…until… someone burst out laughing. I turned around to see Emmet and Edward rolling on the floor in a fit of laughter! Before either of them had time to react, Rosalie jumped on Emmet and pecked his eyes out!

"Ouch!" he yelled, his body slowly turning into that of a hilariously muscular rooster. But soon after, his muscles started to deflate, making a very 'gassy' noise…

Until the end result was a stringy bunch of…well…chicken-ness! It was then I turned to him and said, "before you attempt to hurt me, which you couldn't cos I'm way more muscular than you! nah na na na nah!!!!… I just want to tell you if you want to regain your normal, vampiric form, you must kiss your true love and like THE lollypop. THE lollypop consists of a raspberry flavouring with exactly 3 strands of dog hair attached to it. THE lollypop has been travelling the universe for over 7 billion years, moving from couch to animal, to couch. So, according to my calculations, it was on a cow which is now a leather couch, it was most currently consumed by a goat an lies in a pile of excretion at the monastery in New Norcia, Australia… have fun!"

Quickly, Emmet strutted over to Rosalie, closed his eyes and gave her a huge kiss! 'POOF'! Slowly, Emmet opened his eyes.

"Ewwwwww! Gross!" said Ed, pinching his beak.

"What?!" I asked.

"Excuse me, I farted" said Rosalie in her now masculine voice, blushing.

"Turns out, Emmet isn't your true love", I said.

"What?!", clucked Rosalie, "that's impossible!"  
"YES!!! Thankyou god!" screamed Emmet. "Freedom! Freedom!.. Bella I've been wanting to ask you this 4 so long… will you go out with me?" he grinned.

"No!" I yelled, turning back to the now heart broken and furious Rosalie, "Your true love must be…"

A/N: well we hope you liked it… we shall update with the second chapter soon but for now have fun pondering our little fanfic… surprisingly It does actually have a plot!!!


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